Birth Stories
'Childbirth was no longer an endurance test but an amazing life experience'
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Jackie’s Story
When my son was born in 2004 I felt I had done all the things I should do to prepare for his birth. I attended anti-natal classes at my local health centre, had the tour of the labour suite at the hospital, wrote my birth plan, packed a hospital bag and hired a tens machine. I had an idea about what happens during labour and childbirth, but felt from the information I was given that there was no way of predicting what would actually happen on the day. I assumed that whatever childbirth had in store for me the midwife would be there to coach me through it.
There were absolutely no complications during the birth of Isaac, and he was born beautiful and healthy, and both of us were well. However it was a very long labour, 24 hours in fact, which left me drained and exhausted for weeks to come. While the midwives were encouraging and helpful as they popped in to check how things were progressing, my husband, Jon, and I were left in the delivery suite to get on with it, and were alone for hours.
I realised that I had not prepared myself for childbirth at all. It took all my strength to recover from the pain of each contraction before another wave of pain came along. And though I was experiencing contraction after contraction the labour wasn’t progressing, after six hours I was only a centimetre dilated. I didn’t know what to do to actively engage with the process, how to connect with my body during childbirth and how to help the process along. It felt like a test of endurance. Jon supported me as well as he could throughout the hours of labour, gave me constant back massages, support and encouragement, but by the end of it he looked almost as drained as me.
Of course once you’ve got a new born baby your world changes and you’re suddenly surrounded by mums, and everyone has a birth story to tell. What astounded me was the huge range of experiences that women reported having during child birth. Some were horribly traumatised by their experiences, while others were buoyant about it, and had a wonderful birth. Why didn’t I have a wonderful experience I asked myself? It wasn’t a terrible experience, but I wanted a great experience for myself and my family.
Five years later, and my second child, a daughter, was on the way. Having had a series of distressing miscarriages, I was anxious throughout pregnancy. After six months, my thoughts started turning towards the birth and one thing I knew for sure was that I was determined the birth of this child was going to be different.
That’s where hypnobirthing came in. Attending the hypnobirthing classes was very different to the anti-natal class I had attended before. The simple act of going to the classes together provided my husband and I with something we could both do to prepare for the birth of our baby, it gave us a shared understanding and an opportunity to air some of our hopes and fears. The information about childbirth was brilliant, and the cost of the classes would have been worth it just for that. However the hypnobirthing tools that we were given were brilliant – they were simple, powerful, easy and fun to practise. In fact they very quickly had a profound and unexpected effect on me. I went from being anxious to someone full of excitement and energy about the forthcoming birth of my daughter. Rather than feeling like a heavy beached whale in the last weeks or pregnancy I was out and about, enjoying time with my son, having friends to visit, planning for the new baby, working right up to a week or two before the birth and feeling great.
Another big difference the classes made was that it gave Jon and I the courage to choose a home birth. I know home birth is not for everyone, and it certainly would not have even occurred to me when I started the hypnobirthing course, but it felt very right for us and our midwife was very supportive.
Baby Eleanor is now seven months old and gorgeous, with smiles for everyone. I don’t think I will ever tire of telling people how wonderful and amazing her birth was. The day before she arrived we’d been out having fun, I’d had some mild ligament twinges, and at bedtime I said to Jon, “Shall we have this baby tonight?” I wasn’t joking, within half an hour I was in full labour and phoning for the midwife. Eleanor arrived alert and wide eyed at 4.30 in the morning, and throughout every moment of my labour I had felt completely calm and in control.
Hypnobirthing had taught me what I really wanted to know, how to listen to my body, have the courage to do what my body asks me to, the confidence that I am doing the right thing and a calmness that both myself and my baby are completely fine. I was able to tell the midwife what was happening rather than the other way round. After Eleanor was born the midwife said, “I could tell that you were completely in your body”. Childbirth was no longer an endurance test but an amazing life experience.
I would never say that childbirth was totally pain free, in fact a few of those surges were incredibly powerful, and Jon and I had to use all our hypnobirthing techniques to find a way through them. However hypnobirthing had changed my relationship with the physical pain of childbirth, I didn’t fear it. In fact I realised afterward that even during some of the strongest surges I never thought of taking any pain relief, not even a paracetamol. My son slept soundly in his bed throughout the entire labour, so I couldn’t have been in too much pain, you should hear me when I stub my toe!
The next day, I was certainly tired from having missed a night’s sleep but nothing like as exhausted as I had been after my son was born. In fact 12 hours after Eleanor birth we all jumped in the car and drove round to my mums for Sunday dinner.
As a new born baby, Eleanor slept well, ate well, and had an easy going temperament. We didn’t think twice about taking her anywhere and everywhere – restaurants, cinema, camping, Eleanor came too. Will there be a baby number three? Well, now I know about hypnobirthing, it’s certainly tempting!
